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Hollywood Undead - American Tragedy

Hollywood Undead “American Tragedy”

Holy Shit. Do we need more rap metal? No. Can I even call this metal? No. Is it possible to wipe your ass with an mp3? I wish. The whole Hollywood vampire thing has been done a million times, and done a million times better. Gang vocals, choruses that make the guys in Linkin Park sound like Lemmy, rapping that sounds like it was written by an impressionable thirteen year old after he got into granpa’s cough medicine and watched the Lost Boys a few too many times, and music that sounds like an ambient track from a cheesy sci-fi movie beneath all these vocal shenanigans completes the picture. Take all this and make it so repetitive that you wonder if it was written by someone with a head injury and a stutter, and there you have it, a true tragedy.

I think I counted five hundred songs, or maybe it was one very long song, I’m not sure. I’ve read that live, they wear hockey masks, so that’s something. Charlie Scene (strafing run in his underwear?), Da Kurlzz, Danny, Funny Man, J-Dog, and Johnny 3 Tears have come up with soon to be classics like Gangsta Sexy, let us take a look at some of the lyrics:

gangsta
got my diamond earrings
gangsta
gonna turn you on
so gangsta
i preserve my sexy
and i’m packin’ heat so don’t disrespect me

They are fucking with us right? I know when I pack heat I preserve my sexy. They move on to songs like Tendencies, which are all about what bad ass gangsters they are, with lyrics like these:

You know it’s hard to breathe
With a knife up to your throat
And it’s impossible to see down the barrel of smoke
And I’m just starting to choke
You hope it’s all in your mind
It’s time to hit the deck like it’s a fucking drive-by
It ain’t possible to manage all the carnage and the damage
And an animal like me can use it all to my advantage
You’re the first you hit the floor
‘Cause you know that we stay lit
We’re kickin in your door
‘Cause we ain’t nothing to fuck with
You’re the first to hit the floor
‘Cause you know that we stranglin’
We’re kickin in your door
‘Cause we ain’t nothing to fuck with

Now, I’ve never been knifed, shot, choked, had my door kicked in, strangled or any of that but I think it might be more pleasant than ever listening to this album again. There is also the ubiquitous we have lost a friend song in the track Coming Back Down, but based on Tendencies I’m guessing it was friendly fire. The track Bullet is a jaunty tune about suicide. Actually it was sort of entertaining, the best track on the album until it got preachy. They even trotted out the no father figure card at the end of Bullet. Lump your head is an interesting track, again about how bad ass they are and how they will “lump your head in” etc. but the difference here is that they decided to make all the music vaguely reminiscent of the Stray Cats for some reason. The final track seems to be about nuclear annihilation, which at this point in listening, I’m ready for. Do it.

Overall this album is a master class in clichés that should have died in the eighties. Lyrically and musically deficient, American Tragedy is without redeeming quality. The best part was the end. If you wear a lot of makeup, talk a lot about what a gangster bad-ass you are, and think Eminem is too high brow then this album may be for you, for the rest of us though, it’s a pass.

Track Listing

  1. Apologize
  2. Been To Hell
  3. Comin’ In Hot
  4. My Town
  5. I Don’t Wanna Die
  6. Hear Me Now
  7. Gangsta Sexy
  8. Glory
  9. Lights Out
  10. Coming Back Down
  11. Bullet
  12. Levitate
  13. Pour Me
  14. Tendencies
  15. Mother Murder
  16. Lump Your Head
  17. Le Deux
  18. S.C.A.V.A.

 


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