10. New Found Glory “Kiss Me”
Well I don’t really know the point of covering this song or the point of making it a music video. I do actually like New Found Glory but this video is tough to watch. Its like watching a gay pillow fight, but with 1 guy and a ton of girls…kinda weird.
9. Dimmu Borgir “The Serpentine Offering”
Dimmu is a band I am not found of. I just can’t get into the fact that they went from a solid black/death band into whatever they are today…mainstream death or something shitty. Anyways, this video is actually quit cool if it wasn’t for Dimmu Borgir playing over the battle in a cloud. Not to mention the keyboardist is playing some stupid looking organ. I guess this made the list because the song isn’t good, their costumes are shitty and they suck.
8. The Red Chord “Dread Prevailed”
Big fan of the song, bigger fan of the album. The video is just plain silly. It really has no point, I think at some point they turn into yellow eyed crazy people in a van ride and scare the driver. Couple this with some bad live footage and this is a sleeper. But since the song is good we will give them a pass for the moment to number 8.
7. Helloween “I Want Out”
Helloween have always been nothing more than a cheese band to me, and this is exactly that, a wonderfully funny cheese song. The video is bad, the song is bad and the hair is amazing. Gotta love the 80’s.
6. Nine Inch Nails “Only”
Lets go through the music video check list. Objects that have no meaning or interest at all. CHECK. MacBook to show my video through. CHECK. This is so stupid. Not only do I not want to watch Trent on my TV, but he thinks I should be watching him through my TV on a MacBook because why? And why do I want to see a pin thing thump to your music. What a pile of terds this one is. Doesn’t even have good cheese factor.
5. Still Remains “Dancing With The Enemy”
Well aside from selling the fuck out, this short little beauty just shows off how truely pathetic this once promising young band was. This is pop music to the core, and the video is lame as well. Basically just shots of his emo face singing about dancing all night like. Cool stuff.
4. Hammerfall “Hearts on Fire”
I mean, it is Hammerfall, one of the worst metal bands anyways, but this video is just screaming over the top lame. I think the premise is something like, horrendious black metal outfits bad CG and band song. Eitherway, this is a laugh a minute if you watch the whole video. One note though, I do have to give them props for trying.
3. Immortal “Call Of The Wintermoon”
We all love them…kind of…but man o man do they make cheesy videos, which I hope they are trying to do. One of the scenes in this bad boy has him in a secret witch hat people meeting, it is pure brilliance. Immortal could easily be called the king of cheese, but I wanted to limit this list to 1 song per band.
2. Manowar “Warriors of the World”
Wow…just wow. We have fake viking wannabe band members (sorry I truly do love your confederate metal but damn), with some silly swords and they are playing in a street. The song is great (yes I wasn’t kidding when I said I like ManOWar), but this video makes me cringe every time I see it, and not in a good way.
1. Candlemass “Bewitched”
I don’t really know where to start…this is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. This is better than seeing grown adults in public playing D&D (gotta love W.P.I.). And that hair, oh man, that hair is so awesome. Needlesstosay, it is quit obvious how this video became the number one worst metal video of all time in my eyes.
To be perfectly honest the only truly perfect metal video is below…enjoy.